It's been a while. For that, I apologize. I'm diving back into blogging, and today my topic is a deep one. I plan to soon start writing about the novel I recently finished, but today I'm sharing an excerpt from my future memoir. I welcome your thoughts, whether here or on social media.
"Without holiness, no man shall see the Lord."-Hebrews 12:14. I've heard that scripture all my life, but what does it mean to become holy?
I've traveled the gamut of beliefs when it comes to this topic: from Calvinism to the charismatic movement and in between. Mostly, however, I have been taught and believe that holiness is the Holy Spirit indwelling the believer and making him or her more like Christ. On those basics, I believe most believers can agree. There are other nuances though, which bear mentioning.
In the tradition in which I was raised, outward appearance is very important. I didn't wear a pair of jeans until I was twenty-three years old. My hair was never cut until about that same time. A woman's hair is her glory, and she shouldn't wear anything that looks like something a man would wear. I still have friends who believe this way, and I respect that. But I don't believe that's what makes you holy.
In Bible college, I take a class on holiness. it's very thought out and informative. I'm sure it's just me though, but I come out of that class more confused about holiness than I was before. Still not sure why.
A pet peeve of mine is to hear people say, "I'm just trying to make it to heaven." If there's one thing I've learned about the Christian Life, it's that we can't "make it to heaven." There's nothing I can do to earn it. It's about what He already did on the cross. Does that mean we can live however we want to live and still go to heaven? No, God expects obedience. There is an outgrowth of the inward life of the spirit. But I can't earn it. No matter how many classes I take or dresses I wear or people I tell about Jesus.
There are all kinds of beliefs about the Holy Spirit: He always comes at salvation, He comes after, His evidence is always speaking in tongues. . .
As for me, I received the Holy Spirit, or at least the knowledge of Him working in my life, a few months after I accepted Christ at the age of thirteen. I will never forget the joy and the peace that rolled through my soul. I have had struggles, yes. There have been times I have needed to repent of things, but the Holy Spirit has always been there to forgive and restore. At my new church, I am aware of a belief I have not held before about the Holy Spirit. I am not sure what I think about it, but I want everything He has for me. I pray about it. On October 19, 2019, I am in church on a Sunday morning, praying in a circle for a young man who's in the hospital when it happens. I hear the words in my head and they come out of my mouth. I know I'm communicating with God, even though I don't know what I'm saying. He knows. I am conflicted, though, because I know I've already had the Holy Spirit for half of my life. Even though I see this new experience as a gift, I don't see it as evidence. I so appreciate my pastor and His obedience to what God tells him. A few Sundays ago, He preaches on the Holy Ghost. "What we've been taught," He says," 'have you received the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues,' that is wrong." It's one of the gifts, yes, a gift which he possesses and practices, but, according to the Bible, it's not evidence of the Holy Ghost. The evidence, he finds, after much study, is love.
Maybe that's why a class on holiness did not give me clear answers: because it's not a matter of the head, it's a matter of the heart.
As I come to the end of this post, I wonder if I should have even written it. After all, this is not intended to be doctrine, but rather storytelling. Yet the Holy Spirit is a huge part of who I am and what I believe.
Besides, the real reason I wrote this post is this: I wonder, not saying it's true, I just wonder what if there's more to holiness than we've previously realized? I look at passages in Isaiah and Hosea, just to name a few, in which God talks about broken people whom He longs to heal, and I wonder, "is part of becoming holy becoming whole?" For me it has been. My brokenness has often gotten in the way of what God wants to do through and in me. No, it doesn't happen right away when you're saved or receive the Holy Ghost. As He gradually heals my anxiety, depression, and past hurts, I come to know Him and His nature more. His healing touch makes me a better version of myself and a clearer mirror of His perfect love.
So, yeah, what if, just what if, part of becoming holy is becoming whole?